Doesn’t matter if she’s been single since birth or coupled-up since college: every girl appreciates a Valentine’s surprise. But hold your horses on that botanical arrangement! These tongue-in-cheek treats express your affection equally well. If bae-slash-bes is a flower-hater, they’ll get you extra brownie points, too.

IF SHE LIKES WINE…

The Labiotte Wine Lip Tints come in squee-worthy miniature bottles and are infused with French vino. They smell like wine, taste like wine, and leave a sultry wine stain on the lips.

Shop them here.

IF SHE LIKES CHOCOLATE…

The Ciaté Choc Pots might pass for fancy Nutella but they’re actually nail polish removers. Each pot bears a different dessert-inspired scent: White Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, Mint Chocolate, and even Orange Chocolate.

Shop them here.

IF SHE LIKES CHAMPAGNE…

Make her feel like the toast of the town with Scent Swatch’s Champagne EDP! It’s inspired by a J.Lo fragrance and has an ultra-elegant vibe to it. No, it doesn’t smell like bubbly—but it will last longer.

Shop it here.

IF SHE LIKES DIAMONDS…

If you like it then you should’ve put a ring on it? Depends—but for now, a mask will do. The Diamond Ampoule Mask by Korean brand SNP is infused with diamond powder to make dull, lifeless skin shine bright.

Shop it here.

IF SHE LIKES CANDY…

In comparison to a box of candy, a box of soap is infinitely more practical. The Soap Farm’s Love Soaps were designed for this very holiday, bringing together your unwavering heart and unquestionably good hygiene.

Shop them here.

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